Thank you Thu for your question. I think it is possible that family life is perhaps where our greatest battles are fought sometimes.

It is possible that by having personal balance, our partner may not be able to find their balance. After getting married, it took a long time (& I continue to learn today) for me to change from a "single" mindset to a "married" mindset. Changing from "me" to "we" in how I saw time, money, career, relationships, etc was very challenging but also rewarding as it enlarged my heart and mind.

Decision making used to be much easier since I was making just for myself. What works for me may not work for my family. If I want to find the "we" solution, we've got to work harder together to find a way.

I've learned that one of the best gifts we can give our spouse is the gift of time. This can be quality time just to listen, it can be time for the spouse to go do what they love and time for important events or activities. It does mean making personal sacrifices but the long term rewards are worth it.

Here are some ways I try to find that balance in family life:
1. Get up 1-2 hours earlier when everyone is still asleep to prepare for the day
2. Create a family & work calendar on Google Calendar (or other tool) & share it /manage it together with the spouse
3. Once a week date night to "spoil" the spouse. Bring spouse out for a nice evening. This is important especially when we start having children & don't make time any more. Look for family/friends to help look after the children just for 1 evening.
4. Daily 15-30 minute "sofa time" to listen to each other's day. Those more serious can consider discussing 1 chapter of a book together every week.
5. Work hard to manage the calendar together by discussing regularly and finding ALIGNMENT.

That last word is the key. Alignment is more powerful than acceptance or agreement. It is about being wholeheartedly in it together. It will never be easy since we all have our opinions and preferences so who should change first?

The answer is the more mature one. If you are the more mature one, as Spiderman said "With great power comes great responsibility" so it means being more patient with the other.

All the best in building a wonderful family life, Thu!