Thank you for your honest question Anh :)

Here's what I do & some suggestions:

1. Talk with our spouse immediately about our feelings and get their input. Nothing removes the guilty feeling than by being totally transparent to the right person.

2. Learn to avoid having a jam-packed schedule. I have this tendency to also want to jam-pack my day but the truth is, if I don't leave room for the unpredictable, I am setting myself up for a lot of frustration and disappointment. Refrain from trying to plan 100% of your time, leave some room for people & unpredictable sudden changes.

3. Tweak your time habits. Fix regular time for yourself because taking care of yourself (physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually) is critical for you to serve your family & colleagues better. When we fix these times in our schedule, there is no need to "sneak" in time for ourselves. It is an important part of our life and there is no need to make excuses for it. For eg., I need at least 2 hours of reading, studying & mental preparation before I start my day. The only way I can have that personal time with minimum distraction is by waking up earlier. This is my daily need (and if I don't get it, it seriously throws me off focus!) so I communicate it with my love ones so they understand to not interrupt me unless there is an emergency.

4. Manage expectations by communicating (& sharing information) better. I have an Excel file I tweak regularly to keep on working on my time habits and share this document with my spouse. My wife, colleagues & close friends also have access to my work & personal calendar so they know what I'm up to and can also manage their expectations.

All the best to you in finding that balance you need and I do really hope the next time you find yourself in a situation you feel guilty, you can face it well :)